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I didn't expect my life to look like this! 

The Decision

In the Fall of the year of my thirtieth birthday, I made the decision to pack my belongings and leave the only place I had ever called, home. I left my friends, my family, my home church and my job to move to a city that I had never stayed in for longer than two weeks at a time. 

Mind you, I didn't leave home because my social life was lacking or because I was looking to change careers. No, I left the place that I’d called home because, during my time of prayer, I heard the Lord say, “It’s time to go.”

So, here we are. One year and seven months post migration. And I’m finally getting settled.  

The truth is, it took the last year and seven months for my heart to finally align with my decision to be obedient to God. 

Why did it take me this long?  Because this transition didn’t turn out to be the fresh start that I’d hoped it would be.  My move away from home went from starting fresh to starting over almost immediately and that was difficult for me to navigate.

So, what do you do when your “yes” feels more like ground zero than the gateway to the best season of your life that you hoped it would be?

Are you brave enough to begin again?

Or do the thoughts about what you lost scream louder than the reality of what could be if you don't faint?

The Preparation

You see, before I left home, I made plans. I prepared diligently for this transition. Or so I thought. 

It wasn't until I had finally arrived at my destination that I realized how truly unprepared I was to face this one obstacle: discomfort.

I made plans for a specific type of journey; but God had another pathway in mind. One where the path wasn’t as smooth or as sure as I’d pictured it would be. 

Truth is, I wasn’t ready to trade bench trials for park benches just yet. I wasn’t ready to learn new street names, find a new favorite restaurant, to get lost in or even feel like a foreigner in a city that was supposed to be my new home. 

Everything that had previously defined me: my job, my friends, my home church, my family, my city, were all behind me now.

I had to keep asking myself, "Who am I and where am I going?"

And that’s when it hit me, transition isn’t difficult because we don’t want to obey God.

Transition is difficult because when discomfort becomes common we desperately seek out what’s familiar for relief.  

Not because it's better or what we truly want, but simply because familiarity looks a lot like safety when you haven't mastered the art of maintaining your peace in the midst of uncertainty. 

Truth be told, I didn't want to go back home, but I was grieving. I was grieving who I thought I was and where I thought I was headed.

It wasn’t until I stopped trying to make where I was feel like where I’d been that my heart truly began to settle. 

My lack of peace was a direct reflection of how much I had rejected embracing what the Lord had determined was best for my development.

Embracing the Discomfort & Grieving the Good

And that’s where the breakthrough happened.  In the embrace. In the realization that the last season of my life was officially over.  And now, it was time for new dreams, new hobbies, new favorites, new friends, and a new understanding of who I am.

It was ok for me to hold people and memories in my heart; but I was doing myself and the community I was sent to serve a disservice by longing for what was.

My life back in Indiana wasn’t perfect, but it was good. 

So, I had to give myself the permission to grieve a good thing and realize that just because my last season wasn't a “bad season” didn't make it any less deserving of my tears.   

But, now, the grieving is over, and it’s time to live.

I had to realize that the presence of my discomfort was not punishment or abandonment from the Father. He has been cultivating me.

My growth required me to be uprooted AND replanted. 

This season of my life, the authenticity and assurance in my identity that was springing forth required fresh soil. 

And all this revelation, new sense of purpose, new peace and comfort have all been unlocked after making the brave decision to do one thing, “Go."

New Introductions

So, allow me to introduce myself.  Hi, my name is Ariona.  I left home and started over and it was the best decision I’ve made in my life thus far.  I’ve grieved what was and now I’m finally fully embracing what is. 

My prayer for you is that you go!  Take the leap. Do the hard thing.  Embrace the unfamiliar.  Find new hobbies. Find beauty in where y0u've been planted. Laugh uncontrollably and grieve intentionally. Make new friends. Fully embrace the discomfort that this season has to offer.  And live.

To the city that raised me, although I have to leave you behind, I’ll always be a Midwest girly at heart. To the friends and family that I’ve left behind, thank you for your love and support during this journey. To this new place that I’ve been planted in, I’m ready for you now.

From Indiana to Tennessee. From Discomfort to Journeying with Confidence. From Grief to Gladness. From Grasping for What Was to Embracing What Will Be.

Here’s to Everyone that's Finding their Way Home. 

For Your Consideration,

Ariona

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

Galatians 6:9